He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
