so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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