Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
