shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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