Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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