hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
