So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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