well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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