I heard we made out
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
