sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
