I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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