She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
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