I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
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