ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
its not stalking. its research.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
