I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
