I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
