so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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