sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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