i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
