My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
