I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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