also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
