I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
