So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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