I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
