have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You did what with his pubic hair?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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