Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wannas sexs uuuuu
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
