He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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