with your own penis?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
