Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
