Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
