At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
