remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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