its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
