11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
