as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
