Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize