I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
