Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
