Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You are a booty call, not a friend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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