i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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