Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
