Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Even my vagina gasped.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
