When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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