have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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