On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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