what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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