This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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