It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
