Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
