Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
