Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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