you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
