you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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