i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
