I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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