hotel room ftw
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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