Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
