I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
