There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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