If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
