Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
